Posted on by sunandsea9

Blue Curtains

Behind blue curtains lies a sailor that misses his mom,
A sailor who hasn’t seen her son in months.
Behind blue curtains lies a broken hearted husband,
A woman who just lost her father and couldn’t say goodbye,
An apprentice who feels frustrated
And a specialist that’s fighting depression.
Behind blue curtains lies a sailor who’s mom has forgotten her face due to illness.

There lingers that lost in space feeling,
Like floating numb into the abyss.
Feeling surprisingly different every day, not necessarily in the good way.
Behind blue curtains there are bursts of empathy, rage and sadness, all at the same time
And it doesn’t makes sense. It doesn’t makes sense at all.
Behind blue curtains there’s a sailor that wants to give up but keeps on fighting
Who keeps it all in and silently hates it
And cries hopelessly into the darkness.

Behind blue curtains the “Was it a good decision to leave for this” question arises
And “Would it really be worth it in the end?” pops in too.
Behind blue curtains it is remembered someone talked about sacrifice once
But failed to mentioned it might feel like a part of yourself is dying every day.
Truth is they didn’t forecast that behind blue curtains would lie a sailor who’s no longer the same person it was yesterday.

Posted on by sunandsea9

Invisible (Day 5 of 6)

When you were a little girl, you imagined invisibility was your greatest superpower. You’d hide around the house, sneaking up on your mom while she pretended she couldn’t see you. You’d believe it and felt like the most powerful being on the world. You always thought how amazing it would be to just be invisible to other people and walk amongst them without being noticed. It was all fun and games.

But you grew up and now it’s not so fun anymore. Because of all the people that you would want to be invisible to, he is not one of them. Yet he acts like you’re no longer there. No words are directed at you and he doesn’t look at you anymore. It’s like all of a sudden you’d ceased to exist and he can’t (doesn’t want to) see you ever again.

When you were little you’d never thought being invisible would cause you pain and hurt and so, oh so much sadness.

When you were a little girl, you imagined invisibility was your greatest superpower until you got tired and stopped pretending. But this time you cannot stop pretending, because he’s the one that gave you that “superpower”. And though you no longer want to be invisible to him, it’s not up to you anymore. And it doesn’t seem you’ll stop being invisible any time soon and that really hurts.

¤SUNNY¤

Posted on by sunandsea9

You’ll survive

-“How do you survive a broken heart?”, she asked.

-“You pick yourself up and look forward.

And eventually you’ll realize it.”, he said.

-“Realize what?”, she questioned, this time fighting the tears in her eyes.

-“You’ll either realize that you never really loved them or that you lost an unforgettable kind of love. The kind that, even after healing and finding someone new to love, still leaves a small void that would never be filled by anyone else, only them.

How do you survive a broken heart? You keep on living and with time your hurt will be replaced by numbness, and that numbness will either disappear or never go away. You’ll survive, but you will never be the same”, he finalized as she started to walk away.

¤SUNNY¤

Posted on by sunandsea9

The Other Side

It was evergreen valleys where I used to roam free.
Where I sang my song, a song about you.
Where I saw my children grow, our children grow.

But suddenly I don’t see it anymore.
I am in an empty, cold steel box
Floating away, away from you.

A heavy heart, a sad soul and a broken promise
Of soulmates who met and,
Though they finally met each other,
Had to part ways.

Where the valley ends, begins a mountain
That makes me wonder
Am I still free to roam it too?
Can I still sing my song about you?
Will I be able to watch my children grow, our children grow?

I’m yet to see the valley that lies behind this mountain.
I’m willing to complete this journey.
But all I can think about right now is
Will you still be there, on the other side, waiting for me?

¤Sunny¤

Posted on by sunandsea9

Willing Smile

Behind her willing smile dwelled a sadness deeper than the ocean, filled with the tears she had poured over the years of unspoken words and kept feelings. She thought a taken risk will break her heart, but she never realized it was, in fact, a broken heart what she had for never trying.

¤ Sunny ¤

Posted on by sunandsea9 · 1 Comment

Home

I don’t think I’ve ever told you this
But I found home with you.

And I was supposed to be the one leaving
Still, you left me before I was actually gone.

Seems love has never been the problem,
Giving into fear is.

I’ve never felt so scared and alone
I feel homeless and abandoned now.

I miss my lover and best friend
My heart is broken and the pain is sharp

Everything hurts and I can’t do anything about it
I still cry every night and pills don’t help at all.

I can’t remember what a steady full sleep feels like
I have dark circles under my eyes and bruises throughout my body.

Food doesn’t taste the same, and I’ve already lost too much weight
Why does it have to hurt so much?

Maybe I’m destined to be alone
I’m the one everyone leaves behind.

Am I not worthy enough for people who love me to stay and fight for me?

Yet I’m still planning on coming back home to you
Will you still be here when I come back?

Will you still be my home?

¤ Sunny ¤