You can try your best to keep on going. But what do you do if your heart’s been stolen?
What do you then? When you no longer know what to believe. Where truth and lies are an indecipherable blur? When you realize you’re frozen and unable to move.
What do you do then? When the only one who can save you, doesn’t realize you need saving or worse, doesn’t want to.
What do you do?
¤ Sunny ¤
Watching the rain fall on a dark night, knowing I’ll never see your beautiful face again. “It won’t be the same, but it’ll be okay. Oh, it’ll be okay”, I keep saying that to myself.
But that’s just it, I don’t want to accept it.
I don’t like this change, I don’t like it at all.
I just want to keep seeing your face every day and every night. And, if the rain falls, have you by my side for the rest of my life.
“Please, don’t leave”, I begged you to stay. “Don’t leave”.
But you did.
And it’s been raining ever since.
…
Time has passed. And as I watch and feel the rain fall again, every night seems lighter and I accept I’ll never see your face again. It won’t be the same, but it’ll be okay.
It has to be okay.
Because, even though you left, the rain didn’t.
And rain makes everything better.
¤ Sunny ¤
Behind her willing smile dwelled a sadness deeper than the ocean, filled with the tears she had poured over the years of unspoken words and kept feelings. She thought a taken risk will break her heart, but she never realized it was, in fact, a broken heart what she had for never trying.
¤ Sunny ¤
I don’t think I’ve ever told you this
But I found home with you.
And I was supposed to be the one leaving
Still, you left me before I was actually gone.
Seems love has never been the problem,
Giving into fear is.
I’ve never felt so scared and alone
I feel homeless and abandoned now.
I miss my lover and best friend
My heart is broken and the pain is sharp
Everything hurts and I can’t do anything about it
I still cry every night and pills don’t help at all.
I can’t remember what a steady full sleep feels like
I have dark circles under my eyes and bruises throughout my body.
Food doesn’t taste the same, and I’ve already lost too much weight
Why does it have to hurt so much?
Maybe I’m destined to be alone
I’m the one everyone leaves behind.
Am I not worthy enough for people who love me to stay and fight for me?
Yet I’m still planning on coming back home to you
Will you still be here when I come back?
Will you still be my home?
¤ Sunny ¤
I can feel the Sun. Butterflies flying inside of me. White clouds filling the bright blue sky above me.
The flavor of your lips is unique and unforgettable, making me want to stay in silent if it means tasting them forever.
The sound of your voice whispered into my ears makes me tremble, not of fear but of excitement by having you so close to me.
Your arms wrapped around me keeps me together like a whole entity, which will fall apart if you weren’t here.
Your eyes see right through me and into me. I am no longer invisible nor ignored.
Your smile brightens my darkness and I don’t live in fear anymore.
Your touch makes me realize I am alive. And for all of that and much more:
I love you.
You will always have a part of my heart that no one else will.
And if you ever have to leave and I never hear from you again, know that you made me feel young, beautiful and proud of being who I am, the real me.
The one I finally met, when I met you.
¤ Sunny ¤
PS: Never apologize for being who you are.
A look into the heart of Sunny 