Between heart and mind

It is only about time you realize that fairy tales do not exist, that not everyone is good at heart and that he will never love you. Because like everything else in your life, no one really cares the way you do.

Everyday you say you’re gonna stop, but you don’t. And that’s why you are so tired. That’s why I’m exhausted.

Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Why do you keep doing this to me? I cannot endure it anymore. And I have told you a thousand times but you keep insisting, pushing; all for nothing.

Don’t you see? Even after everything he still does not see you. Not because he can’t, but because he doesn’t want to. That makes it so much harder on us. I don’t think I can go on like this. We battle every day, finally agreeing on the same yet when it comes to action you cannot force your hand and I cannot force mine.

What is wrong with us? When I want to give up, you don’t; when you want to call it quits, I push. Even when we both want the same, we cannot get it. Maybe we are the problem and not him. Because even when we agree we cannot act accordingly.

I mean, he told you not to fall for him. I told you not to fall for him. You agreed.

But like always, you went behind my back and did it anyway. By the time I found out, it was too late. And here we are: both hurting over someone who doesn’t want to see us; loving someone who doesn’t truly deserve us but that we feel needs us. We are well known for that hero complex, aren’t we?

The same complex that developed over time by being fed all the delusional crap we’ve read in books and seen on movies. We always tend to forget that does not happen in real life, or at least not in ours.

But I’ll stop when you do… Do you really want to? I do too.

But rest assured you are lying to me as I am lying to you. We know it is only a matter of time until we find each other having this conversation all over again.

To the one I’ll never forget

I can feel the Sun. Butterflies flying inside of me. White clouds filling the bright blue sky above me.

The flavor of your lips is unique and unforgettable, making me want to stay in silent if it means tasting them forever.

The sound of your voice whispered into my ears makes me tremble, not of fear but of excitement by having you so close to me.

Your arms wrapped around me keeps me together like a whole entity, which will fall apart if you weren’t here.

Your eyes see right through me and into me. I am no longer invisible nor ignored.

Your smile brightens my darkness and I don’t live in fear anymore.

Your touch makes me realize I am alive. And for all of that and much more:

I love you.

You will always have a part of my heart that no one else will.

And if you ever have to leave and I never hear from you again, know that you made me feel young, beautiful and proud of being who I am, the real me.

The one I finally met, when I met you.

¤ Sunny ¤

PS: Never apologize for being who you are.